That’s why too much reassurance can reinforce anxiety, especially when the unpredictable inevitably occurs. It wants a guarantee that “everything will be OK” and that “nothing will go wrong” – which no one can promise with unwavering certainty. Interrupting this process through overprotectiveness conveys a message that anxious children are already telling themselves: “I can’t handle it.” Too Much ReassuranceĪnxiety wants certainty and predictability. It’s how they develop appropriate coping skills that increase confidence and resilience. OverprotectivenessĪre you bubble wrapping your child against disappointment and failure? Are you too quick to jump in and “save” them from bad feelings? What accommodations have you established that wouldn’t be there in the absence of anxiety?Ĭhildren need exposure to normal, manageable threats and stressors. Children learn to assume that there is something wrong with their every action, and they will try their best to avoid negative feedback by refusing to engage.Ĭorrective feedback is especially problematic for anxious children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), who are more likely than their neurotypical peers to receive corrective or negative messaging at school and at home. “Put away your shoes before you trip on them.”Ĭorrective feedback is a form of perfectionism, which is anxiety provoking.“Move your cup from the edge of the table so it doesn’t spill.”.Corrective feedback may look like incessant, repetitive prompts that rob children of the opportunity to think and problem-solve for themselves: Too Much Corrective FeedbackĮxcessive corrective feedback happens when parents over-monitor children. But catastrophic language and worst-case dramatics only teach children to scan for dangers at every moment, which fires up and over-activates the amygdala. A child old enough to stay at home alone only needs a directive like, “Lock the door and don’t answer it for anyone.” With catastrophic language, it becomes, “Lock the door and don’t open it or else a stranger will come in, kidnap you, and steal our stuff.”Įmphasizing safety is important. Too often, parents make the mistake of using catastrophic language to scare their children into obeying them. 2 7 Parenting Behaviors That Worsen Anxiety in Children Catastrophic Language Thankfully, the inverse is also true: Parents can prevent anxiety from developing and/or worsening in their children by modeling and encouraging behaviors that promote resilience instead. 1 Well-meaning adults, intent on safeguarding children against stressors, worries, and uncomfortable feelings, may inadvertently disallow them from learning essential problem-solving skills and coping mechanisms that help ward off anxiety. Anxious children often pick up on and learn anxious behaviors from the important adults in their lives.
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